Kid's Funnies

One of my family's most favorite parts about reading my blog books are the kid funnies that I've remembered to record. My kids love to hear the funny things they said when they were younger. I've not been so good about blogging lately and have missed so many precious little comments. I almost forgot to write the one Halle just gave us about Josie in the previous post. I've GOT to be better at keeping a record as I know how FAST these kiddos are growing up. So without further adieu, here are a few funnies I can remember from the recent past. Most are from Kate as she is the one currently in that stage where funny things come out of her mouth just about every time she opens it.

Kate, last night in the family prayer, "Please bless us not to do naughty things, like say we need to go potty but go do something else." Hmmmm....sounds to me she was ratting herself out. LOL! But I'm glad she thought to pray for strength to overcome her temptation.

Kate, bawling her head off because she is in trouble with dad. "Dad says he's going to spank me!" Me, "Well, what did you do?" Kate, "All just because I showed Carter my crack of doom." Crack-of-doom, are you kidding me??? Apparently this is my kids' new term for rear end. How does a parent not laugh?

Carter keeps stealing Kate's teeny little pink bike to ride around the block. It makes Kate FURIOUS when he's riding her bike. I asked him why he kept insisting on riding his little sister's GIRL bike. His response, "Because it can do sweet wheelies."

Alyssa while watching the movie "Anastasia", "I know why it's called 'Anastasia'. Because she GETS anastasia." Me, "She gets AMNESIA sis." LOL!

Monkey Business

While we're on the topic of kid funnies, last night Kate gave us a cute one. We are experimenting with the bedroom situations at our house. Halle keeps getting scared in her room and either hopping into bed with Alyssa or coming into our room, thus causing nobody to get a good night's rest. So we let Kate and Halle switch bedrooms last night to see if it would help.

Kate was so excited about being downstairs with Alyssa. Jarom told her that it was bedtime and there was to be no monkey business. So as I'm taking Kate down to get her tucked in, she stops dead in her tracks and says, "Wait!" (as she's rummaging through her pillowcase), "I've got a little bit of monkey business in here." Sure enough, she pulled out a toy harmonica.

Alyssa reported that she had to go in and read some books to Kate before she really settled down, but she did sleep all night and didn't get scared. AND Halle slept all night in Kate's room. We'll have to try this a few more times to see if it's going to be a solution to our night time woes.

Vomitosis

Here's a little funny that I don't want to forget, so I'm writing it down. Back in August -yes, I'm STILL working on getting August blogged- a wave of stomach flu hit our house. It got everyone except for me...whew...dodged a bullet there. Anywho, every 2 days or so someone else would start up with it. One morning I thought I heard Carter in the bathroom. Halle was standing near the bathroom door so I asked her if Carter was puking. She looks into the bathroom, and can clearly see him with is head hung over the bowl, but still asks, "Carter are you puking?" To which he replies, " No, I'm throwing up!" LOL! Maybe less chunks = throwing up? Silly boy.

April Fools

Last year my kids April Fools-ed me all day long. They even short sheeted my bed. So this year I didn't tell them it was April Fools day. I thought that since we were on spring break, they wouldn't even notice the date. Well, I was wrong. Alyssa still managed to saran wrap the toilet seat. It was too funny, so I decided to leave it that way until Jarom saw it. Anywho, I couldn't let her get away without a prank played on her, so I toilet papered her room. Her face when she figured it out was HILARIOUS!! She came marching into my room saying, "MOOOOMMM!!" I of course, was giggling like a little girl. At that very same moment we heard Jarom saying, "What in the world?!" from the bathroom, and I just DIED laughing. Oh April Fools.....what a day.

"Polka Dots"

We just got done running errands and we'd been in the car for a little while. When Kate got out she said, "My feet feel funny." I said, "Did they fall asleep?" She said, "Yah...they're making polka dots." LOL! Pretty good explanation of tingles from a 4 year old I think.

Jesus Called

Our phone has talking calling ID. The female computer voice (we'll call her Patsy) says out loud who is calling, but she only says what appears on the phone itself. So for instance, when Jarom calls from work "Manwaring Web Solutions" is too long. Patsy will say, "Manwaring Web So". Seems like she can only fit in 5 syllables.

Anywho, the other night the phone rang and it was someone from the church house calling. Patsy announced, "The Church of Jesus". Apparently all Kate heard was "Jesus" and jumped up and down saying, "Jesus is calling! Jesus is calling!" Jarom pretended to answer and he told Kate that Jesus had said that He thought she was a good little Sunbeam. Kate BEAMED. She was ecstatic that Jesus had place a special call just for her. It was adorable and hilarious all at the same time.

Yo Mama's Ears

Kate has a real abhorrence to earrings on men. She notices every guy that has them and has to say something every time. The quote of disgust from today was, "Did you see that guy's ears? Yuck! What? Was he wearing his mother's earrings or something?!" I just died laughing. Oh....it was priceless.

Kindergarten Funny

Today I picked Carter up from school and he immediately said, "I don't want to tell you anything that happened today."

Me: "Why not? That kind of hurts my feelings. I love to hear about your school day."

Carter: "Well, we all got in trouble for saying bad words."

Me: "What words did people say?"

Carter: "The B word and the F word."

Me (alarmed that my son is hearing the "F word" in kindergarten): "What is the B word and the F word?"

Carter: "You know....'hit' and 'naked'."

It was all I could do to stifle my snort and laughter. I guess when you don't know how to spell, the "F word" is not quite the same word as when you can spell.

The Name Game

I have to quickly write down what its like to play house with Kate. She is hilarious!

It always starts with the choosing of the play names, and she insists I go first.
If I choose a name she doesn't think is pretty she says, "Ummmm....now lets choose your next name."
And if the name is still not to her liking (Giselle) she says, "Ummm...actually, I'll choose your name."
But if the name is ultra "pretty" (Nellie, Natalie, Melanie, Courtney, or Trish) she'll say, "Actually, that's my name. Let's choose yours now."
It's hysterical. (And her use of "actually" cracks me up. She says it ALL of the time.)

Just one of those fun little mom moments that I don't want to forget.


One more Kate funny:

The other day she said in the sweetest, most sincere little voice, "Oh Mom! Your tummy is getting so big." (I think she meant it as a compliment. LOL!) So I replied with a thank you. And then she said, "But....uh....why does is wiggle?" LOLLLL!!!!! Nothing like the honesty of a 3 year old.

She's been so infatuated and confused by the birth of our new little cousin Madalyn. She's still not quite convinced that Madalyn came out of Becky's tummy. And she's been very obsessed with the idea of having babies. Yesterday, she told my mom, "My mom's going to have a baby tomorrow." Oh dear....NOT what I need her announcing. I can only imagine the rumors that will fly when she tells her church class.

For the record...No, I am NOT Pregnant!

Deep Thoughts

Carter's question of the day...."Mom, what would happen if a ghost tickled you?"



There's a thought to ponder.

My body is a temple.

Yesterday while shopping at Target, Carter told me that his tummy was hurting. (I think he was just hungry.) So then he said, "I think my temple is trying to come out."

Me- "What?"

Carter- "You know...my temple. My teacher says there is a temple in our bodies."

I think I laughed so hard the entire store heard me.

You will often hear an LDS person say, "Our bodies are temples." Which simply means, we should treat them with honor and respect, the way we treat our actual temple buildings. So funny how kids take things literally.

And on a different note, T-I-T will be Thursday this week. I've got a Rachel Ray meal that I'm going to try tonight.

Easter Favorites

There are two things that I absolutely CAN NOT resist come Easter time.

These

and these.
Oh my laws....I could eat them for breakfast lunch and dinner. I buy a package for Easter baskets and hide a package in my closet for "mommy emergencies". (Top shelf in the grocery bags honey. I'm willing to share one or two.)

Now I know Cadburry eggs have started to come out at different seasons recently, but I refuse to buy any until Easter. Just seems to make them all the more special to me. I am also aware that I can get Reese's peanut butter cups all year round. However, the eggs are the VERY best version of this candy. (The full size ones.) The ratio of chocolate to peanut butter is perfect and you can guarantee I'll eat at least 6 every Easter season.

Do you have an irresistible seasonal candy?

And I have to write this funny from Kate down. Yesterday she found a map from Disneyland in the car. She also found the Jehovah's Witness pamphlet that was left on the front door. It had a picture of Christ on the front and she carried it around for quite a while talking about Jesus. Then she said, "Mom, is Jesus at home in Disneywand?" Oh dear....apparently we need some lessons at this house.

Where's the name?

Yesterday at the Wal*Mart parking lot, Halle was intently looking at license plates on various cars. I asked her what she was doing and she said, "Mom, where does it say the name?"

Me- "The name of what?" (Thinking she meant the county indicator.)

Halle- "You know....their name. Like Jack or something."

Note to myself...don't say, "Get out of my way you big Jack," while driving with Halle. LOLLLL!!!

All Together

We have over 4000 square feet and still they choose ONE chair.

Are you tired of me yet?

Clancy asked How did you meet your husband and how did he propose? I'm just going to direct you to this anniversary post, which will give you all the juicy details. (And for my Big Love watching buddies, no we are not polygamists. ;) )

What super hero or super power would you love to be/have? Why? I think I would like to be able to freeze time. Either that or reverse time. Then I'd have all the time in the world to get everything I needed to done. Don't want to clean the house? No problem. Just freeze time until you're feeling more like doing it. Babies growing up too fast? No problem, just rewind the clock and enjoy a few more minutes with them. Wouldn't that be great?


If you had to assign gender to salt and pepper which would be male and which would be female and why? Okay, this question cracked me up because I actually think about this fairly frequently. Blue's Clues drives me nuts because it's backwards to me. It should Mr Pepper and Mrs Salt. Seriously, it annoys me. And Blue is a girl??? What? In my head, he's a HE! (And I have no idea as to the why. That's just the way it should be.)

When you go to sleep at night do you fall right to sleep or do you stay awake forever thinking about a zillion things? If it's the latter, give an example of your thought process. I so CAN'T fall asleep fast. I envy those of you who do. My mind goes a million miles an hour thinking about what I didn't get done, what I need to do tomorrow, how mean I was to my kids, the come back I should have said but wasn't witty enough to think of right off, what I forgot on my grocery list, the characters in the current book I'm reading, and then right as I start to cross the threshold from consciousness to unconsciousness my mind starts remembering dreams from previous nights. And I also think up crazy new things to dream, everything from flying purple monsters to tropical paradise islands.

Lula said Just talk about Lost... Whoo-Hoo!!!!! Favorite show EVER and I can't wait until it's back this week!! And I know I do this every year at this time, but click here and here and get your excited juices flowing!

Alright, enough about me for today. How about a funny from Alyssa to end on? The other day she saw a drivers ed car and it had a sign on the top that read "A+ Student Driver" (the name of the company). She asked, "Why does it have the sign on top?" I told her so that other drivers would be aware that it was a person learning to drive. So then she asked, "Do they all have to have a sign?" I told her yes, so that other cars would know to be careful around them. Then she says, "But what if it's a D- student?" LOLLLLL!!!! She didn't understand that it was the company not the grade being displayed.

A Mouthful

I took Carter to the dentist yesterday to see about his mysterious loss of a tooth. They were all a little baffled by it and said it certainly wasn't going by the "text books". They took several x-rays and determined that yes indeed, he does have an extra permanent tooth as well. (They told me long ago that there was a 70% chance of him having one since he had the extra baby tooth.)

From the x-rays they could see that his lateral incisor does appear to be trying to come in before the front incisor, so maybe that could be the cause of the strange order of his tooth coming out. But it seemed really early for that to have caused it. It wasn't really pressing down very much.

The other guess is that maybe because of these extra teeth, while his teeth were forming, it caused his old tooth not to form a strong root. And there is always the possiblity that he knocked his mouth sometime and didn't tell me about it. I don't remember him crying about that, but who knows.

Anyway, the good news is that it's okay for the tooth to have come out already (however, there could possibly still be a little sliver of tooth left, but it should work itself out no problem). The bad news is that he'll have to have some oral surgery in a few years to rid himself of the extra permanent tooth.

And of course, I can't leave you without the funny of the day. While the dentist was working on Carter and such, Kate says nice and loud for all to hear, "I want to go play. I tired of this guy." It's a pretty good thing that she's so blasted cute and thank goodness the dentist has a sense of humor. He just busted out laughing, while I hung my head and turned bright red. Kids....they'll always keep you humble.

Kate is a Sunbeam

Today Kate graduated from nursery at church and moved up to primary. She's now in the 3-4 year old class, the Sunbeams. It's always SO exciting each January for the new Sunbeams to join the "big kids" in the primary room. I can't believe my baby is already so grown up. (I still remember vividly the day Alyssa joined Sunbeams; I swear it was just last January.) It's even harder for me to believe that I no longer have a nursery kid. So sad, but I guess that is the way life goes.

Kate did shockingly well during singing time and sharing time. (I'm the music lady, so it was fun for me to get to see her.) She did run up to the front during the prayer so that she could sit by Carter. (He had the talk today, his first one, and I COMPLETELY forgot about it until I saw his name on the program during sacrament meeting. I even had had a reminder. But we pulled it off.) Carter on the other hand, fell fast asleep, sitting straight up in his hard chair. Our church time switched to 1 pm today and you all know Carter, if he even sits still for one second at that time of day, he's out cold.

And a little funny to add: This morning while we were getting ready for church, Kate was being a bit of a squirt. I told her she was being a little brat (I was just joking with, not angry at all) and she turned to me and told me, "I NOT a bwat; I a Sunbeam!" And that was that.

Kids' Funnies

I've got to get these kid funnies posted before the year is up. I just keep track of silly things my kids say throughout the year and then post them when I need something to blog about. So here is the latest installment of funny things my kids say or do.

I was trying to get the dishes done and Carter kept asking me if we could play Bingo. I said, "Not right now. I've got to get these dishes done. They stink. Can't you smell them?" He said, " No. Boys can't smell anything."

Kate is going through a growth spurt lately. Her little bum and legs a filling out and are so cute and chubby. The other night I picked her up and said, "Oh you're getting so heavy." Jarom asked, "Kate, are you getting chubby?" To which she replied, "No, I just hebby."

I was talking to Liberty and Kate kept being a squirt and yelling, "Don't talk to my mom!" So I said, "Kate, I'm talking to my niece, so you just be nice." Kate said, "No, I your niece!" I told her she was my daughter, but she insisted that she was my niece so that I'd quit talking to Liberty.

Halle is getting ready to move up to the next class at church. She'll be going to the Valiant 9 class. She asked Jarom the other day, "So am I going to be going to the violent 9's now?" Oh so funny and maybe slightly true.

901

Make sure you don't have Carter around to dial for help if you need it. Today he was playing around with the phone and I said, "Hey, don't do that. What if you accidentally called the police? You can only call them if you have an emergency." So he said, "Oh, call them like this?" And he proceeded to dial 9-0-1. Thank goodness he was wrong, but now I don't know whether to teach him the real number since I know he'll go ahead and dial it. The little stinker.

Kate's Funnies

I have been saving up some of my kids' funnies and I need to get them posted on here before the year is over. Prepare yourself for several posts over the next few days, strictly about cute things I think my kids do. Might be boring for you, but these are the most precious moments of my life that I never want to forget.

Yesterday (back in Oct.) Kate came skidding into the room saying, "Mom! The farmers are here! I go watch the farmers in da window!" And off she took to watch the lawn mowers. I don't know why she calls them farmers. They are young teenage kids and don't wear anything remotely close to farmer garb. In fact, one kid had his button up collared shirt on yesterday. (Those are some mighty nice clothes to be mowing a lawn in. Don't you think?) Anyway, I love how Kate calls them farmers.

Lately Kate's favorite color is pink. She insists on having the pink crayon, shirt, hair bow, blanket, whatever it is, if there is a pink one, it's her's. But the cutest thing is that in her mind pink is the most beautiful thing on the planet. Not only is it a pretty color, but to her, it means beautiful. She told Jarom that she is pink, so he asked her what color mom was and she said pink too. Anything that she loves a lot is "pink". If her hair is fixed and I say she looks beautiful, she says, "Ya, I pink." It's so adorable.

Amber gave me a roll of colored toilet paper at our sister sneak. I put it in the bathroom and when Kate saw it she came running to me yelling, "OH MY GOODNESS! Da paper is owange!" (It was really yellow, but oh well.) She couldn't get over it, she'd say that every time she walked into the bathroom.

Kate slept in until 10 am this morning. I asked, "Did you have a nice sleep? You must be growing or something." Then she said, "No, I not gwowin, I just hungwy."