Are you buddies with your Ob-Gyn?

Tonight I went to dinner with my dear friend Jennie. It was to celebrate her birthday which happened back in MAY. We seem to be in this habit of waiting a few months before we celebrate our birthdays together. This year she got patriotic paraphernalia from me. I think it's okay because I've gotten Easter stuff for my birthday (which is in January) from her. (Now that I think about though, I think she was on the ball this year and gave me a cute Valentine's platter.)

Anyhow, I had to use the restroom during our dinner. In the bathroom was none other than my gynecologist. How can you not say hi to the person who has seen more of you than you've seen of yourself? So I say hello and tell her my name. (Of course she claims she knows who I am. I'm never quite sure if she's being truthful, but I was one of her very first clients.) Then she tells me I look "great." What a sad statement seeing as I am 10 lbs heavier than the last time she saw me. (She's the one who looks great. She had that lap-band thing placed on her stomach and has lost a LOT of weight.)

I thought the conversation was over and seeing as how she was washing her hands, I thought she'd just head out, so I walked into the stall. I'm not one of those people who talks while using the potty. You know the type, the ones who take cell phone calls mid-stream. But instead of leaving she kept talking to me. "How are the kids? How old is your baby now? Yada-yada." I was practically crossing my legs at that point and just praying she would leave. "Everyone is great. I'll make an appointment to see you soon." Her, "It's so great to see you. Tell your family hello. You just look wonderful." Me in my mind, "Lady, thanks for the compliments and I know you really are a nice person, but I am going to pop standing here. I know you've all but seen my bladder, but for the love of Pete, please leave." Me out loud, "Oh yes, it's great to see you too." (Is it great? I'm not quite sure what our relationship outside of the office should be.) Finally off she went.

The moral of the story is.....When you see your gynecologist in the bathroom don't say hi. Just go to your happy place as usual and be silent. Because talking to you while you potty is as normal to her, as seeing you naked on the bed is. Odd, VERY odd.