Thursday, December 06, 2007

Dear Santa

I've read this in years past, but I think it's so cute I had to share it again......

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my children on demand, visited their doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

•I’d like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze; but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy aisle in the grocery store.
• I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy.
• If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like:
Fingerprint resistant windows
A radio that only plays adult music
A television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals
A refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.
• On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence.
• Two kids who don't fight.
• Three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools.
• I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog.
• If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning.
• The luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container.
• If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely.
• It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back.

Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in and dry off so you don't catch cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always,


P.S. One more can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.


Mama Williams said...

Yea! My computer is up and running. I have missed bloggin with you. Even if it was only for 5 days. I guess I am an adicit. Cause I felt withdrawl symptoms.
Glad the tooth episode and basement are A-Okay.

Emily said...

This is cute!

Sorry to hear about the tooth incident!!

Jennifer P. said...

I would totally take the refrigerator with the secret compartment for talking on the phone! I would also hide all my dark chocolate and packets of gum in there!

now I need some HELP!!! I have no idea what has happened to my comments!!! They just disappeared and I have spent almost an hour on blogger help trying everything I can to get them back. Isn't there some big default button that will set everything back to normal. They seemed to disappear when I let anonymous people leave comments so my friend Holly could put up a message. I changed it back to only google users, but they didn't come back!

Elena said...

Jennifer-The only thing I know how to do is go into the settings tab and make sure you have "show" clicked for you comments. Have you already done that?

Elena said...

p.s. I think Blogger must be having some problems b/c my comments aren't being emailed to me and I checked to make sure my address hadn't been erased and it all looks fine. Who knows what is up.

Elena said...

Wait!! I noticed that it says "comment moderator has been enabled" on your comments thing. Un-enable that and I think your comments will come back.

The Manwarings said...

So sad how true that is. It's a good reminder that we're all in the same boat, though.

Jennifer P. said...

i un-enabled my moderator, but they didn't come back. Enabling it was just one of the million things I've tried to get them to come back. SOOOOO frustrating! I wish there was a number I could call or something because I've tried everything in the help section with no luck. What fun is a blog if you can't hear back from people!

Jennifer P. said...

Pretty sad to see a big number of comments and find out they're all from ME about STUPID things!!! (feel free to delete all of these!): ANYHOW, I got my commenting problem fixed. I kept waiting for it to fix on all my last few posts, when all I had to do was post something new and VOILA! they're back on. I could just hug myself right now for fixing a computer problem all by lonesome. It is a major accomplishment for me, really!

Elise said...

I'd also like to add "Please give me a few extra brain cells" to that list. I think I get dumber with each kid, which is why I only have two.

becky ward said...

I could use the talking doll! Too funny!