Monday, March 09, 2009

Farewell Old Friend

Dear Beloved Dish Washing Machine,

Why do you hate me? What did I do? You might think that I was only using you. Which I did, every day, but every time I pushed that glorious start button, it was only love I felt for you. And now, here you go and abandon me! Why have you stopped working? Why? WHY?!

You know I hate, loathe, despise doing dishes by hand. I hate it more than I hate scrubbing the tub (and I REALLY dislike that a lot). I would rather leave dirty dishes in the sink and wait for a second less full load to finish them up, than do them by hand.

The sudsy water up to my elbows, soaking my sleeves. Trying to find a place to let the dishes air dry or tyring to dry them quickly with a towel that is soaked after the first two dishes. The water that has to be refilled 10 times so I feel like I'm cleaning my dishes, rather than swishing them in dirty water. Trying to get the water hot enough that it feels like it cuts the grease and then not scalding my hands. The permanent wet ring around my waist from leaning over the soapy sink. I hate every minute of it.

Oh yes, I am well aware of the bigger problems in this world. And also have a knowledge of the poor suckers who don't have a dishwasher. But honestly, I might just go crazy without you. Please come back to me!

I guess I have no choice but to replace you with a better model. One whom I will be even more happy with. Until that day, you have been turned into a drying rack, and my sopping forearms will never forgive you for leaving me.

Farewell Old Friend, Now Turned Enemy


CB said...

That was pretty hilarious! I love the letter to the dishwasher.

If you are in the market for a good one I had to replace mine about 2 years ago. I wanted the best because I was tired of messing with substandard, noisy dishwashers, so I was going to buy a Bosch (almost a $1000 dollars) then I found the Kenmore Elite at Sears that is made by Bosch - it is identical in every way except it has the Kenmore name on it and was only $350.
It is seriously the best dishwasher ever! You can put anything in there - dried on yuck, stuff that has been sitting out over night, etc...and it has a scrub cycle and it's own water heater and everything comes out shining, no matter how it went in - Every time - True story!! The best part is that it is quiet - no noise at all!

Sorry for the book! Hope you get a new dishwasher soon.

Jennie said...

Well put!!! I hope you find a suitable dishwashing companion very soon - until then, just bring the dishes on over!

Trish said...

Ah, yes. I can relate. (

I hope you find a bigger, quieter, faster, more efficient model fast. Here's to new appliance bliss!

Jewelle said...

I feel for you. I HATE doing the dishes. When Russ and I got married we agreed that he would do the dishes if I cleaned the bathroom. Apparently he hates that. Our deal has worked out perfectly. Russ even hand washed dishes for a YEAR as part of the agreement. Hope you find a new dishwasher soon!

Torman said...

I do not know why but this post is really funny, and even funnier if you listen to it. :) anyway I feel the same way I hate doing dishes by hand! My grandma and aunt would rather do them by hand and refuse to own a dishwasher, and to them I say that it is crazy talk.
P.S we will have to get together so you can hold my fuzzy head of a kid. :)

Wendy said...

I'm with you, Elena. I myself have a 20-year-old nag of a dishwasher. She "pees" on the floor. Every time I push start, she leaks. We have a dishcloth that has a permanent home on the floor at the base of the dishwasher. Do I stop using her? Oh no! That would mean hand-washing!

I'm so desperate, a while back, I tried fixing all her old parts and gaskets and seals just to keep the old girl going. No help at all.

We should just put the old girl out of her misery, but now with no job we'll have to wait a little longer.

Anybody know if they make Depends for old dishwashers? I'm interested...

Brenda said...

I had the same dear friend leave me about 6 months ago! I was without for about a week, and I thought it might be the end of the world! I think I would have pizza every night until your new friend is properly installed:)

Mama Williams said...

We knew his days were numbered. LOL! I say out with the old in with the new! Get one with a built in disposal and a tall tub!

You can call me while we do the "dirty work" as always. You know how much I despise and loathe this task too. ;)

"The Queen in Residence" said...

I have missed you but then again I have been MIA too. So sorry about the dish washer. That and the microwave are the worst to have go out.

I loved the Island Park pictures, but to sleep on a coffee table, that is one tired kid. I too think that you need to stay home for a while, puke is just too close a friend right now.:>

Lee Ann said...

While I don't share your absolute hate for hand washing your dishes, I am truly sad your beloved left you. It wasn't kind! It wasn't right!

Oh, and my husband just got me a great deal on our dishwasher! The floor model. Do you want to come borrow it for ummmmmm.....maybe 10 months or so?

Deanna said...

I hope you had a ceremony for your lost friend!!!

We've only had a dishwasher for one year since we've been married...I HATE dirty dishes, too!!! But Ryan threatens to throw them away and I hate eating on paper, so begrudgingly I and Ryan will do the dishes.

Someday, I'll be able to relate to your story...someday. :) Good luck on that!

The Shep's Herd said...

YOu are hillarious. I'm galad you had fun in Island park. that is one of my most favorite places and you guys looked like you loved it. Forgive your dishwasher it didnt do this to you on purpose. I think you both need counseling. Lol. I have a good appalince thearapist his name is Doc SEARS. He works wonders.

Dawnyel said...

UGH!! Shoot the dang thing! That's so sad. I totally feel your pain! (Dishes/bathrooms are my BAIN!)
Farewell...hello new model! ;)

Jennifer P. said...

I know, I know!!! Replace him with TWO dishwashers! That'll show him! (because, yes, it IS a him :)!)

Tonya said...

I am so sorry for your loss and excited to see who the replacement will be.