Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Scaredy Cat

So, Jennifer P. has posted yet another hilarious post that I had to copy. It's all about things she's afraid of (moths being one of the top items) and I got such a great laugh out of it, I thought I would share my ridiculous fears for all of you to laugh at. I also am kind of using this post as a journal entry so feel free to skip the details if you want.

#1 SPIDERS- Uggghhhhh.....I HATE them and hobos are at the top of the hate list. (Even posting this picture made me sick to my stomach. ) I can handle almost all types of insects, but not spiders. And don't even ask me to step on one. I physically CAN NOT do it. I would rather stick a jar on top if it and wait for someone else to get it. Of course getting close enough to stick the jar on is a scene within itself. I scream/hyperventilate the entire time. I even scream when I vacuum them up. And it makes me feel better to scream while I do it, so leave me alone.

#2 Aliens-

The most ridiculous thing about this fear is that I honestly don't believe in their existence. (Not that I don't believe in life on other planets, but I don't think that they are freaky weird alien looking things.) But it is a sad fact, I've been afraid of aliens since I was very little. I think Close Encounters might have set things off for me. Every once in a while when I am alone outside at night, I get that creepy feeling that something is watching me and I run as FAST as I can to get inside, cause I just KNOW its an imaginary alien waiting to get me.

#3 Buffalo (Bison, whatever)-My family goes to Yellowstone National Park every year and for as long as I can remember I have been afraid of the buffalo. I think all the stories of people being gored and such has made an impression on my mind. I am getting better and can actually think straight when I get near one (probably because mommy mode clicks on and I fear for my kids), but I still get that gut wrenching belly drop feeling whenever one is near.

#4 Gorillas-
This one is actually a fear that I have finally conquered. I used to have a reoccurring nightmare about gorillas with red glowing eyes that would try to get me. Apparently when I was about 2 my cousin jumped out at me wearing a gorilla mask and it scarred me for life. I think I was almost more afraid of gorillas than I am of spiders. Not even baby gorillas were cute to me (and for animal loving me, that's saying a lot).

When I was 14 I was at a zoo and got talked into going into the great apes display by some boy that I had a crush on. I went in and quickly walked past the gorilla display and went straight to the orangutans. However, there was a HUGE crowd in front of the gorillas and I kept hearing a loud boom and then the crowd would gasp, scream, laugh, etc. I just HAD to see what was going on. So I carefully crept to the very edge of the cage and leaned on the farthest pane of glass to get a glimpse of the gorilla inside.

He was in the center of the cage staring at the crowd with the meanest eyes I had ever seen. Then a man from the crowd pounded on the glass to make the gorilla mad and without skipping a beat the gorilla bounded to the window and beat the glass as hard as it could. The kicker is that it chose the far window I was leaning on to beat on. I felt the glass bend, the gorilla hit it so hard. I don't think there has been a time in my life where I have been more scared. I flew to the back wall (seriously I don't think my feet touched the ground) and froze and instantly started sobbing. I couldn't even talk about the stupid incident for several years without crying.

Then one day I started to feel really sorry for the gorilla. All those people staring at it and teasing it, he had no choice but to try to defend himself. I started watching documentaries about them and finally I wasn't afraid of them. The nightmares stopped and now I think they are beautiful creatures. (But don't ask me to come face to face with one without bullet proof glass between us.)

*Now that you've gotten a good laugh at me, I would love to hear your fears (and maybe laugh a little at you too). ;)


Torman said...

I love this blog entry. I too am afraid of aliens. I HATE E.T and I am very afraid of him. I think every boy our age grew up with an E.T stuffed thing, well at least my brother and Nick have one and they tease me endlessly with them, they do not realize how real the fear, anyway very funny I will have to make a list .

Miki said...

I actually am doing my, "ohhhh" for you, with my sad face. I actually feel so bad for you! Okay, now I feel I can laugh a little, after having said that (especially over the aliens one...LOL).

But for the gorilla one, I feel bad. I'm sad that boy scared you so bad, and you had nightmares, and you had to watch documentaries to get over them. Awwww.

I know, I can hear you now, telling me, oh, it's fine!!! But still....I will never feel comfortable walking you through a gorilla exhibit after this story (if we ever venture to the zoo together for some strange reason).

Thank you for the picture of that Hobo spider too. I've always wondered what they looked like, but not enough to actually take the 2 seconds it takes to google it. Ooohh. They can kill you, right? Scary.

Now, back to the alien one for just one more second. HILARIOUS!!! One time, my friend, Corey and I were in Wallowa Lake (we were literally in the lake mind you) and as we were treading water with one hand on the rental boat, and one hand on a log used as a float barrier, he started telling me about his fear of things in the water.

I laughed at him and said, "what do you mean?" He started talking about how this particular lake was at least 1000 feet deep in some places (I know, DEEP ha?) and that he always starts thinking about sea creatures like the Loch Ness Monster, or little fish coming out of nowhere to bite his toes.

Something came over us and all of a sudden, it was as if the music from Jaws started playing. We couldn't get out of that water fast enough!

Anyway, your story totally reminded me of that day, you dashing into some sort of cover before the unforeseen alien attacks you from the sky! How funny! Thanks for the laugh, at least on that one.

As for the others, yes, I still feel a little sorry for you. Just a little....

Elena said...

Kacey- My little Halle LOVED E.T. so much they we bought her a giant one when she was two. She used to sleep with him. Now she's so scared of him, he only comes out at Halloween.

Miki- I should have put deep water as my #5, (but only because I can't swim, not b/c of the loch ness monster.) Your story made me laugh out loud.

Brandon and Emily said...

Aliens! You are so funny! Out of all the things to be scared about you are worried about being abducted! LOL!

Anonymous said...

You didn't add the part where you used to ride through Yellowstone Park with a pillow over your head when we were in the vicinity of the buffaloes. Just thought I'd add. Love ya.

becky ward said...

buffalo?! really. that surprises me. fun post.

Deanna said...

Sometimes I feel like the gorilla. I am so sorry! I hate the spiders too, and couldn't look at that picture without getting the heebie-geebies! i'm still shivering!

Natalie and Quin said...

Don't forget the pillow over the head as we drove through the Firehole River Canyon. Yeah that was fun watching Elena freak out and get mad at Dad as he tried to get closer to the edge so he could see down to the river.

Every one should ask Elena to do her Hobo spider dance for them. LOL!!!!!!!!!

The gorilla even scared me that day. I remember that day rather clearly. Elena and I were looking in watching the guy bang on all the panes down the gorilla's cage then out of no where the gorilla charged the glass where we were standing and punched it HARD!!! I jumped behind a pillar and I vaguely remember hearing the sonic boom that Elena created as she suddenly materialized on the opposite wall. Didn't grandma disappear down the hallway too? It affected Elena so bad that she couldn't even look at stuffed gorillas without getting antsy.

And then the Aliens. I remember many nights of Elena sneaking into mine and Kade's room in the middle of the night cause she was scared of the aliens. It probably stemmed back to when we watched ET and Tyler Grant kept grabbing her leg under the seat scaring her.

Jennifer P. said...

If you promise never to chase me around with a moth, I promise to never chase you around with a gorilla or an alien :)! And just for the record, I find buffalo very creepy too!

LouandAngela said...

Oh Elena, how I remember your fear of aliens! Sorry to hear that you're still working on that one.

You know I can empathize with the spider issue. I actually had a counseling session about my spider phobia shortly after I got married (my fear actually became a problem in my marriage). Sorry to say, but it didn't work. I should have been hypnotized. I've considered that option. Hmmm. . .maybe it would still be worth trying. I've improved considerably over the years, but I couldn't stand it or believe that you actually posted that horrible picture. I scanned past it as fast as I could!!!

I don't remember anything of that gorilla incident. Strange. I do remember you being afraid of them though.

And, I still remember a nightmare I had about buffalo as a little girl too. I'm not really afraid of them at a distance, but I sure wouldn't want to get too close!