Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Motherhood

This is why I TRY to shop with the least amount of children possible.

Yesterday, I dropped Alyssa off at dance and thought to myself, "I will run to Wal-Mart and pick up a few things for dinner, ant traps (to rid my house of the massive amount of ants we have), and laundry detergent (Jarom was getting ready to go to Boise and didn't have any clean pants)." So off I went, ONLY 3 kids in tow, with 45 minutes MAX to get in and out of the stupid store. As I rushed everyone in, Carter lost his flip-flops about 3 times, so once I finally got a cart I stuffed him in the basket and Kate in the seat, Halle trailing along beside, and headed down the isles. Lettuce, apples, beans, olives, everything was going great. Then we hit the freezer isles and every 10 seconds Halle would say she was cold. Carter was tired of the milk and popsicles touching him and kept trying to climb out. "Allright guys, we're done. Let's go check out."

I looked at the jam-packed lines in every checkstand and decided to go to the self-serve lane. I HATE these when I have kids with me. They all want to swipe the food and load it on the conveyer belt. One time, Kate grabbed gum out of my purse (a brand new one from a different store) and swiped it. And more than once I have had items double scanned and just paid for them twice because it's such a pain to have the checker come delete it for me.

Anyway, this is the point where Halle started whining and doing the potty dance telling me she couldn't hold it. Carter was "helping" by placing all the items on the conveyer belt and Halle kept throwing candybars and gum on. ("Maybe Mom's too dumb to notice.") So to keep her entertained and to distract her needing to go to the bathroom I let her help scan. Next thing I know, I looked up and low and behold, KATE is coming down the conveyer belt! She had climbed out of the seat and onto the belt and was just going for a joy ride down the grocery belt.

I finished up by holding Kate under one arm and we all took off out the door. We only had 7 mnutes to get back to the dance studio to get Alyssa, and probably less time to get Halle to a bathroom. I looked in the cart and realized I DIDN'T get laundry detergent!!! ARGGHHHH!!!

Now the cart was too full to stuff Carter in so we just had to run back to the detergent isle carrying his stupid flip-flops. We grabbed the closest kind we could find, rushed back to the check outs and chose the one with only one person in front of us. (They only had TWO items!) Of course, something wasn't right and they had to get a cashier to come help them. Halle was now VERY uncomfortable, so I sent her to the bathroom alone. (Inside praying that some nutcase wouldn't grab her.) After what seemed like an eternity, the people in front of me were finally done and I was able to swipe my stuff, meet Halle at the bathroom and pick up Alyssa 10 minutes late.

The joys of motherhood......

6 comments:

Grammy said...

You really should write a book! I laughed so hard I got myself choking!

Fur said...

That cracks me up that your mom was choking...Like mother, like daughter! You really do have the BEST stories ever. I can't wait to play with you and Jennie soon!

Elise said...

So hilarious! I love posts like this-- I'm so glad I'm not the only one with crazy kids!

By the way, you should seriously write a memoir-- so funny!!

Elena said...

Memoirs of Motherhood. What a great title...

Dawnyel said...

That's a good one...probably NOT when you were going thru it, but good for those of us who DIDN'T! (I can just imagine Kate riding on the conveyor belt!!)

Becky & Kevin Ward said...

This is funnier than Lake Wobegone Days! I love it!